There's a Civilization on my Fork

XENO'S PARADISE

Xeno's Paradise is an "all natural, slime-based webcomic" set in a world inhabited by little blobs known as slimes. It is both written and drawn by a person named Kelseigh Nieforth, who goes by the name Kels.

First, the technical stuff. The comic starts off somewhat slow, as the first few strips have no action at all. The first strip tells us the location, "Thorn Mountain". The second strip is nothing but a shot of Thorn Mountain, and then finally in the third strip, there is some dialogue: One word, "Xeno?", in the very last panel. These first three strips might have worked better as one single introduction, but it seems that Kels is attempting to keep the entire comic "above the fold", so the entire comic is visible without having to scroll down. Having your comic above the fold is okay, and even recommended. I like how the placement of the logo doesn't push the comic down the page, and even draws more attention than the advertisement - a hard feat to accomplish when the ad and logo occupy the same space. Yes, keeping the comic above the fold is a good thing, but it is not necessary to have the entire comic above the fold. There only needs to be enough showing to let the reader know where the comic is so they don't have to search for it. Keeping this in mind, the first three strips would likely be more effective as a single page. If Xeno's Paradise were a movie, then those introductory shots of Thorn Mountain would be much more effective, as they would be panned across and accompanied by background music - and as I read through the archive, I did indeed begin to think that this comic might make a good Disney-esque animated movie. That is, of course, if it was in colour. Xeno's Paradise

The lack of colour in the comic occasionally made it hard for me to tell the characters apart. Each character is only distinguishable by their shape. There were a couple of times where I got Gob and Puddy confused because I was reading the dialogue and not paying close enough attention to who was actually speaking. Several other times, Tik- Tak's heads were drawn close together and I confused Tik-Tak with Xeno. It is hard to distinguish the shape of one thing (the characters) while paying attention to something else (the dialogue), but it is easy enough to distinguish colour. I tend to read the dialogue in a panel first, and then look at the picture afterwards, so it was hard for me to follow sometimes. If this was a strip with humans, in which one could vary the facial features and such, non- color might work, but there are really only so many shapes and sizes a blob can have without repeating a previous blob. In this strip, there were two characters - probably just one-time characters - who looked just like Xeno and Puddy. It took me a second to realize that these characters were seperate slimes that we had never seen before. Colour would definitely improve this strip a great deal. It seems almost essential, yet sadly lacking.

Additionally, color would eliminate the need for hatch-shading, which sometimes seem to work against the author, confusing the reader. There are times where it works beautifully, like in the first three strips, as well as this one. Other times, however, the shading misleads the reader into thinking something is happening when it is most likely unintended. For example, in this strip, the shading in the first panel makes Xeno seem as though she's speeding downhill, and in this one it looks as though it is raining as Gob gives his speech at the Gathering. If Xeno's Paradise were in colour, the shading could simply be done with a darker shade of the same colour.

I'm a fan of hand-written text, but a lot of it seems rushed, and I had to read it rather slowly, as I stumbled over unfamiliar handwriting. This may just be me needing to get used to it, but Kels may want to slow it down when she is lettering. I do, however, like how Kels tries to create a stylized font but at the same time, the fact that the letters are hand-drawn makes them more fluid and organic, like the body of a slime. The lettering suits the story, but a little bit more time should be taken with the lettering.

As for the story, I don't have much to complain about. Xeno is a young slime who wishes to be independent, yet is confined to a society where one must follow all sorts of seemingly arbitrary customs, and traditions. Xeno tries to free herself of these rules, but is forced back into submission by her elders. When she ends up missing the Gathering - a ceremony in which the head slime rambles on and on about how great Slimes and Thorn Mountain are - she is forbidden from returning to her "ledge". This line basically sums it up: "Xeno has become too distracted by outside things,. So, hard as it may seem, those things must be taken away." This struggle between independence and authority is one children are likely to identify with, and I believe that children are Xeno's Paradise' target audience, so it works. Another thing I like is that Kels does not suffer from what I call TWAPS, or Thinks We're All Psychic Syndrome. This is what I call it when an author gives us details (names of characters, locations, etc.) and doesn't bother explaining them, as if we're supposed to know what they are. This happens when an author neglects to explain things because they forget that the readers don't have the entire story planned out in their head like the author does. When "din dins" were mentioned in one strip, I had no idea what those were supposed to be, and was afraid that Kels wouldn't bother explaining it. Thankfully, I was wrong: they showed up several strips later. I still don't know exactly what they are, but it seems that the slimes don't exactly know either, which may help a reader connect with the characters.

When it comes to the format, I've already covered that the "all-above-the-fold" thing made the story start off kind of slow, but I do like that the strips are nice and short, which makes for an easy read. The one problem with this, though, is the update schedule. Having the strip update on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday leaves a day's gap in between comics. Because each strip often ends without any kind of punchline or finishing comment, and is meant to continue straight into the next strip, a reader will likely have to go back and read the previous strip to find out what the first speaker in today's strip is responding to. This is one of those comics that you would be a better read if you left it for a month and then came back and read every strip that you missed.

Finally, onto the site design. The colour scheme isn't eye-killing, which is a huge plus. The comic's logo is readable, and doesn't take up a huge section of the page; the comic is the clearly the page's focus. The extra links are tucked in underneath the comic, and the first letter of each is made of a slime, which is cute, in a way. One thing I'm not sure about is the FPNL (First, Previous, Next, Last) buttons. For some reason, they include a "Random" button in the middle. I've seen this done in other comics, and it was fine because those comics tend to be gag-a-day comics with no plot. Having a random button in with the FPNL buttons seems kind of odd for a story-comic. It also doesn't help that the button isn't labelled, and that the picture doesn't really imply "randomness" to me in any way. I didn't know what that particular button did until I hovered over it and read "strip id=random" in the destination URL.

Summary:

Art and Technical - 6/10
Xeno's Paradise loses huge points for not having colour, which is next to essential for a strip involving amorphous blobs, and the hatching is occasionally misleading. On the plus side, Kels does not suffer from where-are-we syndrome; every panel has a background to establish the location. Even though only several locations have been shown so far, the strip is still young. The text suits the comic, but is sometimes hard to read.

Story - 9/10
I like the story so far. As of the time of this writing, Xeno's Paradise is up to 48 strips, and the story can still go in any direction. It has drawn me in enough to want to see where it will go. It will be fun to see if the author can continue to hold my attention. Bonus marks for not suffering from TWAPS.

Format - 7/10
The small length of each strip made the story start off slow, but makes for a nice easy read, though it may be better if read in monthly doses so that certain story elements are not forgotten.

Site Design - 8/10
Simple, yet effective. Slime block-letters for the first letter of each section on the site, as well as clever titles for some of them ("Pimp my Pseudopod", "Slippery Words") help carry the slime theme.

Final - 6.5/10 (Not an average)

Last words to the author:

While I really like what you're doing here, I can't stress enough how important colour is to this comic! That is a gigantic part of why you scored the way you did. I plan to continue reading to watch you improve, and I wish you luck. Thanks for providing me with 48 pages of slimey goodness, and I look forward to more.

-Jason "The Slime" Torchia
Xeno's Paradise
There's a Civilization on my Fork

If anyone disagrees or wants to talk about this review, feel free to talk about it on the forums.










				Review: Xeno's Paradise
				XENO'S PARADISE Xeno's Paradise is an "all natural, slime-based webcomic" set in a world inhabited by little blobs known as slimes. It is both written and drawn by a person named Kelseigh Nieforth, who goes by the name Kels. First, the technical stuff. The comic starts off somewhat slow, as the first few strips have no action at all. The first strip tells us the location, "Thorn Mountain". The second strip is nothing but a shot of Thorn Mountain, and then finally in the third strip, there is some dialogue: One word, "Xeno?", in the very last panel. These first three strips might have worked better as one single introduction, but it seems that Kels is attempting to keep the entire comic "above the fold", so the entire comic is visible without having to scroll down. Having your comic above the fold is okay, and even recommended. I like how the placement of the logo doesn't push the comic down the page, and even draws more attention than the advertisement - a hard feat to accomplish when the ad and logo occupy the same space. Yes, keeping the comic above the fold is a good thing, but it is not necessary to have the entire comic above the fold. There only needs to be enough showing to let the reader know where the comic is so they don't have to search for it. Keeping this in mind, the first three strips would likely be more effective as a single page. If Xeno's Paradise were a movie, then those introductory shots of Thorn Mountain would be much more effective, as they would be panned across and accompanied by background music - and as I read through the archive, I did indeed begin to think that this comic might make a good Disney-esque animated movie. That is, of course, if it was in colour. The lack of colour in the comic occasionally made it hard for me to tell the characters apart. Each character is only distinguishable by their shape. There were a couple of times where I got Gob and Puddy confused because I was reading the dialogue and not paying close enough attention to who was actually speaking. Several other times, Tik- Tak's heads were drawn close together and I confused Tik-Tak with Xeno. It is hard to distinguish the shape of one thing (the characters) while paying attention to something else (the dialogue), but it is easy enough to distinguish colour. I tend to read the dialogue in a panel first, and then look at the picture afterwards, so it was hard for me to follow sometimes. If this was a strip with humans, in which one could vary the facial features and such, non- color might work, but there are really only so many shapes and sizes a blob can have without repeating a previous blob. In this strip, there were two characters - probably just one-time characters - who looked just like Xeno and Puddy. It took me a second to realize that these characters were seperate slimes that we had never seen before. Colour would definitely improve this strip a great deal. It seems almost essential, yet sadly lacking. Additionally, color would eliminate the need for hatch-shading, which sometimes seem to work against the author, confusing the reader. There are times where it works beautifully, like in the first three strips, as well as this one. Other times, however, the shading misleads the reader into thinking something is happening when it is most likely unintended. For example, in this strip, the shading in the first panel makes Xeno seem as though she's speeding downhill, and in this one it looks as though it is raining as Gob gives his speech at the Gathering. If Xeno's Paradise were in colour, the shading could simply be done with a darker shade of the same colour. I'm a fan of hand-written text, but a lot of it seems rushed, and I had to read it rather slowly, as I stumbled over unfamiliar handwriting. This may just be me needing to get used to it, but Kels may want to slow it down when she is lettering. I do, however, like how Kels tries to create a stylized font but at the same time, the fact that the letters are hand-drawn makes them more fluid and organic, like the body of a slime. The lettering suits the story, but a little bit more time should be taken with the lettering. As for the story, I don't have much to complain about. Xeno is a young slime who wishes to be independent, yet is confined to a society where one must follow all sorts of seemingly arbitrary customs, and traditions. Xeno tries to free herself of these rules, but is forced back into submission by her elders. When she ends up missing the Gathering - a ceremony in which the head slime rambles on and on about how great Slimes and Thorn Mountain are - she is forbidden from returning to her "ledge". This line basically sums it up: "Xeno has become too distracted by outside things,. So, hard as it may seem, those things must be taken away." This struggle between independence and authority is one children are likely to identify with, and I believe that children are Xeno's Paradise' target audience, so it works. Another thing I like is that Kels does not suffer from what I call TWAPS, or Thinks We're All Psychic Syndrome. This is what I call it when an author gives us details (names of characters, locations, etc.) and doesn't bother explaining them, as if we're supposed to know what they are. This happens when an author neglects to explain things because they forget that the readers don't have the entire story planned out in their head like the author does. When "din dins" were mentioned in one strip, I had no idea what those were supposed to be, and was afraid that Kels wouldn't bother explaining it. Thankfully, I was wrong: they showed up several strips later. I still don't know exactly what they are, but it seems that the slimes don't exactly know either, which may help a reader connect with the characters. When it comes to the format, I've already covered that the "all-above-the-fold" thing made the story start off kind of slow, but I do like that the strips are nice and short, which makes for an easy read. The one problem with this, though, is the update schedule. Having the strip update on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday leaves a day's gap in between comics. Because each strip often ends without any kind of punchline or finishing comment, and is meant to continue straight into the next strip, a reader will likely have to go back and read the previous strip to find out what the first speaker in today's strip is responding to. This is one of those comics that you would be a better read if you left it for a month and then came back and read every strip that you missed. Finally, onto the site design. The colour scheme isn't eye-killing, which is a huge plus. The comic's logo is readable, and doesn't take up a huge section of the page; the comic is the clearly the page's focus. The extra links are tucked in underneath the comic, and the first letter of each is made of a slime, which is cute, in a way. One thing I'm not sure about is the FPNL (First, Previous, Next, Last) buttons. For some reason, they include a "Random" button in the middle. I've seen this done in other comics, and it was fine because those comics tend to be gag-a-day comics with no plot. Having a random button in with the FPNL buttons seems kind of odd for a story-comic. It also doesn't help that the button isn't labelled, and that the picture doesn't really imply "randomness" to me in any way. I didn't know what that particular button did until I hovered over it and read "strip id=random" in the destination URL. Summary: Art and Technical - 6/10 Xeno's Paradise loses huge points for not having colour, which is next to essential for a strip involving amorphous blobs, and the hatching is occasionally misleading. On the plus side, Kels does not suffer from where-are-we syndrome; every panel has a background to establish the location. Even though only several locations have been shown so far, the strip is still young. The text suits the comic, but is sometimes hard to read. Story - 9/10 I like the story so far. As of the time of this writing, Xeno's Paradise is up to 48 strips, and the story can still go in any direction. It has drawn me in enough to want to see where it will go. It will be fun to see if the author can continue to hold my attention. Bonus marks for not suffering from TWAPS. Format - 7/10 The small length of each strip made the story start off slow, but makes for a nice easy read, though it may be better if read in monthly doses so that certain story elements are not forgotten. Site Design - 8/10 Simple, yet effective. Slime block-letters for the first letter of each section on the site, as well as clever titles for some of them ("Pimp my Pseudopod", "Slippery Words") help carry the slime theme. Final - 6.5/10 (Not an average) Last words to the author: While I really like what you're doing here, I can't stress enough how important colour is to this comic! That is a gigantic part of why you scored the way you did. I plan to continue reading to watch you improve, and I wish you luck. Thanks for providing me with 48 pages of slimey goodness, and I look forward to more. -Jason "The Slime" Torchia Xeno's Paradise There's a Civilization on my Fork If anyone disagrees or wants to talk about this review, feel free to talk about it on the forums.

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